Back To The Start
by romanticangel92
Summary: Spoilers for the Angels Take Manhattan. The Doctor remembers Amy and Rory after they're gone. Rory x Amy.


**A/N : This is strange. I haven't written a new Doctor Who story in like YEARS, not since like 2008/09 and this is my first story based around the Eleventh Doctor. I'm sorry if I get him characterised slightly wrong or I'm way off base, lol, but this is my first attempt writing for him and it'll time and practice to eventually get him spot on. However after watching the last episode of DW, I just felt the need to write this especially since I've grown to love Amy and Rory.  
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**Also I AM trying to get back in the swing of writing since I've been so uninspired with all my other stories, I've just not been able to bring or motivate myself to write for them. I've not had much time on my hands either. That said, I'm currently working on a new multi-chapter Doctor Who story that will be uploaded once I've made sure to get at least half way through with it!.  
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**Warnings: contains spoilers for The Angels Take Manhattan and this is edited by myself so if there are any errors in grammer or spelling please tell me. I've edited it to the best of my ablity.  
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**Disclaimer: I do not own DW.  
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**Back To the Start**

"_Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be so hard. I'm going back to the start"_

_The scientist - Coldplay_

It had been fourteen hours, fifty minutes and twenty-five seconds since the Doctor had last seen the Ponds. It was also the last time that he was ever going to see them and the pain in his hearts had not yet subsided. River had left the Tardis hours ago while he had gone off to find and read Amy's letter and last words to him, which now left him alone with his thoughts. He also assumed that River probably needed to grieve the loss of her parents herself in private. Just thinking about Amy and the little girl she had been when he had first met her, when she had been the first face he had seen in this body, left a gaping huge hole in his heart. It had barely been a day since her death and the Doctor already missed her warm smile and sparkling brown eyes; cheeky, teasing remarks and bright red hair. She had reminded him so much of all of his past companions in some way that he couldn't help but end up caring deeply for her – not in a romantic way at all of course but like a brother or a father.

Speaking of fathers, the Doctor closed his eyes tightly as the image of Rory's dad popped into his mind. The last words that the man had spoken to him had involved him making sure that the Doctor would bring his son and daughter in-law back in one piece and most importantly keep them alive. The Doctor had no idea how he was going to go to back and tell Mr Williams that he had failed. He had broken yet another promise that he couldn't keep (he may not have promised Brian that he would bring them back alive but he'd certainly made it to himself), that his son was dead and was never coming back. He wondered how Amy's parents would react once they found out. He had suffered the loss of a child before and knew the pain only too well. It would be unbearable. The Doctor wanted nothing more than to avoid that particular visit but he knew that would be cowardly and wrong. They deserved to know the truth, they deserved to know what amazing people their daughter and son in-law were. They were the best friends that the Doctor could ever have asked for and now they were gone. The Doctor still felt the weight of their deaths crushing down on him, threatening to overcome him like a tsunami.

Morbidly, the Doctor wondered how their deaths would add to the casualty count of all of his past companions. He remembered the very few but unforgettable times that old companions had actually died because of the perils of travelling with him. He also remembered the companions that had lost so much because of him. The guilt and the unbearable sorrow he felt in his hearts brought tears to his eyes and he was very glad that River had left by this point because he knew he wasn't going succeed in holding back his tears for any longer. Almost as if she felt her own grief over his companions, the Tardis gave a small shake and began to make a slight wheezing sound. Before he realised what was happening, the Doctor felt a warm wetness on his cheeks and realised he was crying. As he let his grief fill him up, he found his mind taking him back to the times that he had shared with the Ponds.

"_Amy, I think it's very important that you speak to your fiancé" the Doctor informed her matter-of-factly as she followed him around the control panel in the console room, her eyes never leaving his, a flirtatious smile frozen on her lips. Just moments ago they had been in her bedroom and she had just attempted to seduce him much to his surprise and dismay. She had been a little girl barely five minutes ago – well what it seemed like anyway – and there she was, engaged to another man and trying to kiss him! He needed to fix this mess right away. Time was clearly of the essence he thought as he continued to back away from her as if she was a Dalek._

"_And I think it's very important that we make good use of being alone together" Amy said in a husky voice, not giving up on her failing attempt to seduce him. "Do you have a bedroom somewhere Doctor?"_

"_Yes" the Doctor replied immediately before quickly adding when he realised what she meant "but it's off-limits to anyone except myself and well myself basically" _

"_You couldn't make an exception...even for me?" Amy asked, batting her eyelashes and smiling at him slyly like a cat that was on the hunt for a mouse._

"_Ah, here we go. I'll just fetch your lovely fiancé for you" the Doctor told her quickly, relieved as the Tardis took him to the place and time where he would find the man in question. _

_Of course his choice of entrance had been a huge surprise to everyone in the room including the Doctor – after all it wasn't everyday a nine hundred year old Time Lord jumped out of a large cake meant clearly for a stripper. To make things even more awkward, the words that came pouring out of the Doctor's mouth were obviously not the most thought out words he'd ever spoken._

"_Now then, Rory, we need to talk about your fiancée. She tried to kiss me. Tell you what, though. You're a lucky man - she's a great kisser" realising how completely inappropriate he sounded and taking in the shocked expression on Rory's face, the Doctor mentally winced before adding "Funny how you can say something in your head and it SOUNDS fine..."_

After recovering from his shock, Rory had ended up joining them on an adventure in Venice which successfully rekindled Amy's relationship and she quickly forgot all about seducing the Doctor. By the end of it, Rory found himself officially coming onboard team Tardis which had been the start of their little threesome.

"_Do you really want me to come along with you and the Doctor?" The Doctor overheard Rory asking his fiancée quietly as they stood in a corner of the console room, not realising that the alien himself had superior Time Lord hearing so could hear every word spoken very clearly – not that he was going to tell the nurse that of course._

"_Rory, I know I've been a bit confused lately and I've done some stupid things but I love you and I'm so glad your here with us, stupid face" Amy said, smiling tenderly at the man in front of her and the Doctor could tell she meant every word. Never had she in the short time that they had travelled together shown such an expression on her face before. She had never once directed that kind of look at him which made the Doctor feel even more validated in his decision to bring Rory along. It was obvious the two belonged together and if the Doctor believed in soul mates, he would definitely say they had found theirs in each other._

"_I can't compete with him, Amy" Rory pointed out, an insecure look on his face._

"_You don't need to, you dork" she said, rolling her eyes, punching him gently on the arm and giving him a quick kiss on the lips._

That was how most of their adventures had ended – Amy and Rory kissing or cuddling or hugging each other. Remembering those moments, made the Doctor understand _why _Amy chose to follow Rory to her death. Where he went, she went also. There was no way that she would have been able to have gone on alone without him. After all, he had seen what an Amy without Rory looked like and all those times it wasn't pretty. He had also seen Rory without Amy and he had spent 2000 years, 2000 YEARS, waiting for her so that he could undo it.

"_She's going to be in that box for 2000 years?" Rory's voice was incredulous as he stared at the Doctor who was holding River's vortex manipulator in his hands._

"_Yeah, but we're taking a shortcut - River's vortex manipulator. Rubbish way to time travel, but the universe is tiny now. We'll be fine" the Doctor informed him but Rory didn't care about taking any shortcuts. It wasn't him or the Doctor he worrying about, a fact proven when Rory surprised the Doctor with his next line of questioning which led to the Doctor reassuring Rory that "She'll be fine. Nothing can get into this box"_

_However this did nothing to comfort Rory who replied "You got in there"_

"_Well there's only one of me, I counted" the Doctor pointed out as he gradually lowered the arm he had held out for Rory to grab a hold of so that he could take them forwards into the future using the vortex manipulator._

"_This box needs a guard. I killed the last one" Rory pointed out and the Doctor's eyes widened slightly with alarm as he realised what his companion was suggesting. _

The Doctor in the present moment smiled through his tears as he remembered his shock at Rory's idea. Even then he could never leave Amy's side. It was never one without the other; they were like a packaged deal.

"_2,000 years, Rory. You won't even sleep, you'd be conscious every second. It would drive you mad" the Doctor pointed out in a grim voice to drive his point home to Rory. How could the nurse-turned-roman soldier even consider doing something so ridiculously insane, something that would cause him a lot of unnecessary pain? However the next question Rory asked stumped the Doctor._

"_Will she be safer if I stay? Look me in the eye and tell me she wouldn't be safer" he demanded but the Doctor was unable to meet him in the eyes. Instead he sighed to himself, "Rory..."_

"_Answer me!" the centurion yelled in a way that the Doctor didn't think the mild-mannered, softly spoken nurse was ever capable of. Apparently when it came to Amy Pond, anything was possible with Rory as proven by his non-death._

"_Yes. Obviously" the Doctor eventually admitted and Rory gave the Doctor a look that spoke of the anguish and heartache that he was feeling for the feisty woman who was to become his wife someday  
_

"_Then how could I leave her?" at the man's response, the Doctor couldn't help himself. He found himself smiling with admiration and awe at the clear depth of the man's love for the girl inside the box. He was constantly amazed by some of the things that humans did at times but this beat out everything he had ever seen. He could admit that when he first met Rory Williams he didn't really see anything special about him. He wasn't really all that brave, he didn't have any special qualities but now the Doctor could honestly say Rory Williams was one of the best people whom the Doctor had ever met._

And he still thought that now even after the Ponds death. The Doctor thought of all the times those two had miraculously cheated death or come back from it and let out a bitter laugh at how he knew this time it was for real. After everything that the couple had endured together such as the silence, the Pandora, the cracks in the wall, the Doctor himself even...in the end it was the weeping angels of all things that had managed to get to them . They had even thought they had won for a moment there and then came that terrible second when Rory disappeared and it was all over. Now there was no coming back for them and he would never see Amy's flirtatious smile or witness Rory's enduring patience and loyalty towards his wife. The Doctor let out a final heartbroken sob of grief for the two humans that had managed to become the closest thing to family the Doctor had, had in a long time, who had wormed their way into his hearts and would never leave.

It was fitting really that several years ago (for them) the two of them had mourned _his _death, searching for a way to stop it and now he was the one grieving over theirs. As the Doctor's tears began to stop, he found his grief beginning to give way to rage. He knew that if he ever came across another one of the weeping angels ever again then they would regret killing his friends. He would take great delight in destroying each one of them. "_Don't be alone Doctor" _both Amy and River's words resounded in his mind as he realised the dark path that his thoughts were going down. He knew they were right but there was no way that he was ready to invite anybody else along at the moment. How was anyone even going to measure up to Amy and Rory Pond, the boy and girl who waited? The answer was simple – nobody could. No one was ever going to replace them just as no one could replace all his other companions but he also knew that it was inevitable he'd find someone new and when that happened he'd get attached to them until it happened again and then the cycle would go on until he eventually died.

He was growing tired. Losing everyone you loved and knowing it was inevitable you were going to lose them had a way of making him feel old and he was old. At least he knew that the Ponds or Williams as the tombstones had revealed had grown old together, he just hadn't been able to witness it. Maybe it was easier this way, maybe it would save him from having to witness them both get gradually older and older until one day he just turned around and they were gone. One thing was for certain – time was a healer and he had plenty of that in spades. Sighing, the Doctor stood up and approached the console, his heart heavy as he began to set the co-ordinates for Earth to visit Rory and Amy's parents...alone.


End file.
